Hi, my name is Bob and I’m a blogaholic. It’s been nearly two minutes since the last time I wrote anything and I’m climbing the walls. Ah, the sweet, indented feeling of fingers on keys, the homey sensibility of qwerty, the constant comfort of delete. I am not a poet, a storyteller or a journalist, but I am one of the most convincingly straight-faced liars the world has ever known, constantly reinventing and pushing hyperbole to ever greater heights, knowing that nothing can be truly understood without a strong sense of ridiculosity.

My ultimate beliefs are in technique and practice.

I am a licensed practical ridiculositarian and can perform marriages in wilderness settings.